Saying "I love you" and Kissing

Discussion in 'All About Kids' started by Purple, Sep 16, 2010.


Register to become a member. It's Free
  1. Purple

    Purple Senior Member Plus

    Alright, I feel awful for even starting this thread...

    How many times do your kids say "I love you" and kiss you per day. I can't tell you how many times I hear it a day because I can't tell you how many times I hear it per HOUR.

    DH had been home 25 minutes and she went up to him and kissed him and said she loves him five times. There's no way he needs reminders of this fact every five minutes.

    It's like if she's bored or if she just wants to say something, but has nothing else to say, she says she loves us and kisses us. I don't know if she's doing it because she wants to hear, "I love you, too" for reassurance or what... I feel guilty not saying it back, but you can only hear it so many times a day before you start thinking, "Really?"

    Also, if Kate kisses one of us, she has to run over and pucker up for her own. Like she thinks that kissing Kate means we love her more than we love Natalie or something. I dunno...

    Is there a way we can tone it down without making her feel rejected, embarrassed or unloved? I don't want her to think that she can't say it, but I want her to know the words have meaning and that using them every five minutes can cause them to lose their meaning (and get kind of annoying). :bag


  2. Julia

    Julia Senior Member Plus

    My son tells me 5-6 times on a school day and a dozen on weekend days when we are with each other longer. That's a lot for a going on 9 year old.

    But I think my son also uses it as a "thank you" kind of act with John and I.

    My daughter very rarely initiates exchanges like that.

    I'm not sure what normal is.

    Last year he started not holding my hand in front of the school or kissing me in front of his friends at school.

    I figure he will naturally make his own boundaries and mature out of it?
  3. mothragirl

    mothragirl Senior Member Plus

    What if you start using some other terms/displays of affection toward her?
  4. ISAinDFW

    ISAinDFW Senior Member Plus

    This sort of thing is so limited to young ages... I would cherish it while it lasts, pretty soon it will end.
  5. Jonna

    Jonna Senior Member Plus

    I wonder if her love language is physical touch/words of affirmation?

    While Wesley doesn't smother me with kisses every hour we are together, he is constantly touching me in some way. He needs that physical interaction with me/dh. Although it gets annoying and I definitely get touched out, I try to remind myself he won't always be like this.
  6. artzy_fartzy68

    artzy_fartzy68 Senior Member Plus

    hmmm, William and Aldous are both super affectionate but they just do it a couple times per day.

    Maybe she's just copying you and your husband b/c y'all are always making out. :giggle
  7. ~Amy

    ~Amy Senior Member Plus

    :lol Jacki!

    Haley is very much like this. She's always kissing us, hugging us, telling us she loves us. It's sweet, but I get what you mean. She does it a couple times an hour I guess. But she does it at the most annoying times (we're on the phone with someone, I'm dealing with a screaming 3 year old, etc.). I don't know if she does that to get attention or to try to make me feel better, ya know.

    Eli, on the other hand, almost NEVER says I love you and hides his face when you say it to him. He will snuggle with you and hug you, but he tells me how annoying it is when I tell him I love him. :lol I don't know what that's about, but I'm not to worried.

    Blake, he wants to make out with me all.the.time. He's not as affectionate with James, but he still gives him little tender kisses and hugs when they are together and I'm not around. With me though, he's always, "I yub you, Mom." all day. It can get annoying too, but it's sweet.

    I guess one day it'll end and we'll hear how horrible we are, so we should be thankful! :lol James does say to Haley sometimes, "I know, baby, I love you too, but seriously, you told me 5 minutes ago!" :lol
  8. Flute Momma

    Flute Momma Senior Member Plus

    We say it LOTS, and there are also tons of kisses every day. I honestly don't even bother counting because I lose count. I come from several generations of very affectionate people, so it is SO far from annoying right now. It may get there later.
  9. zhonn

    zhonn Senior Member Plus

    I'd say, "Thank you sweetie! I didn't forget. Did you forget that I love you?"

    Other variations: If I have time to play, I say, "Oh, really? How much?" Then we get really creative coming up with outlandish comparisons.

    My ds is 10 and he asks for hugs a lot. This last weekend he asked for one, then a couple minutes later he asked again. Then he said, "I'm sorry, I'm just hugry." :lol

    If I'm busy, though, I may direct them to an activity, in case it's boredom that's got them coming back for more at an inconvenient time.
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
    1 person likes this.
  10. Purple

    Purple Senior Member Plus

    I think this is quite likely because aside from the "I love you"s and the kisses, she gets darn near teary when she's praised for something. And we're not terribly stingy with the praise... We don't give it out like beer at a frat party, but we don't hold on to it, either.

    Thanks...I'll try to remember that these days are going to phase themselves out soon and that someday she'll be a teenager who is thoroughly embarrassed by us. :lol
  11. Hani

    Hani Senior Member Plus

    Our situation is the opposite! I am the one saying, "I love you," and chasing Lucy around for kisses! I do it to my husband, too, although with both of them it isn't as frequent as you described. I have always just been more affectionate than most people, I guess.
  12. Chera25

    Chera25 Senior Member Plus

    Cassidy says it a thousand times a day, but it's usually NOTTT coming from a place of affection. LOL She says it when she forgets her train of thought or if she said something & I didn't hear or understand & ask "what?" she's say "I love you" instead. lol

    Oh & she's REALLY, REALLY "huggy"... on HER terms. ;) She hugs absolutely anyone-anytime-all the time (even if they don't want it) IF they doN'T initiate it. LOL
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
  13. Helen B

    Helen B Senior Member Plus

    Kasen is like that too, but I always think it's my "fault" 'cause when he was a baby I was ALWAYS saying I love you or hugging/kissing on him. I still do it a fair amount, but not nearly as much as he does it now.
    He's really into hearing other people say they love him too right now, he will literally chase you down asking if you love him. :giggle
    I don't mind it too much 'cause I know the days of him being "in love" with us are numbered. ;)
  14. 3apples

    3apples Senior Member Plus

    my favorite are times like the other night when i was telling benji that he needed to head up stairs and get to bed (my husband and mina were already upstairs).

    he was laying with me in my bed and wanted to sleep with me. everytime i would start to say, "benj, time to..." he'd cut me off and smile and say "i love you!" i'd try again, "you really need to..." he'd say "i love you!" over and over.

    needless to say, he ended up sleeping right beside me that night! :lol
    1 person likes this.
  15. Susannah

    Susannah Senior Member Plus

    Phoenix was this way, and I don't like spontaneous touch. I just asked her to ask me if she could hug me or kiss me first before she did it. So, she started noticing more when she'd do it and occasionally if I was just touched out, I'd say no, later. Now we're both happy, she kisses or hugs me maybe 6 or 7 times a day (which is much less than before). I also try to remember to hold her hand a lot when walking or touch her when I'm talking to her. It has been so hard to get used to for me... but I'm glad I found a way to enjoy it before she grows out of it.
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2010
  16. jmac

    jmac Senior Member

    Oh dear goodness my almost six year old daughter is like that. Now my love language is affection and so is hers but seriously kissing my fifty thousand times a day when I am trying to work or clean does drive me insane. I have to be so careful how I act and I know she is not going to be slobbering all over my arm when she is sixteen but it does make me worry who she is going to be slobbering all over at sixteen. And yes she has to have a kiss or hug anytime one of the other children gets one and craves words of affirmation. Having one on one mother daughter saturday morning shopping trips helps curve the attention cravings.
  17. Laura Ling

    Laura Ling Senior Member

    I have a 21 month old who just learned to say it, so it's still precious. She's always wanted to be held, so I can see her going in that direction. I enjoy snuggly time and affection, but I also like to have some personal time, as well.

    Part of parenting is establishing boundaries and teaching them how to get their needs met without infringing on others' needs, so I am comfortable telling her that Mama can't pick her up right now or asking her to play with something while I do X. And sometimes she's not in the mood when I am, so I respect that.
  18. ZamaZen

    ZamaZen Senior Member

    I have noticed that my and other kids sometimes say things over and over to try to start a conversation when they aren't sure how to.

    I know one girl who kept asking her mom what her name was several times an hour.

    So I wouldn't assume it was emotional without considering that it could also be practicing interactions.

    If that might be it, try giving her some conversational tips.

    (If I had my choice the tips wouldn't include phrases like "Whacha doing?" or "Why?" which are much more annoying than "I love you!")
  19. Sarah

    Sarah Senior Member Plus

    :yeah This was my very first thought. DS has some slightly annoying aspects to his Love Languages (physical touch and quality time), but the only way we can tone it down is when we respond and fill up his love tank. Then he's good to go and a lot less annoying! :lol
  20. Momster2Many

    Momster2Many Senior Member Plus

    I know in a few years that my kids will not want to hug and kiss me so I try to let them. There are times when I just want them out of my hair so I get them busy doing something else.


Share This Page