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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 06:03 PM
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Purple Purple is offline
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Saying "I love you" and Kissing

Alright, I feel awful for even starting this thread...

How many times do your kids say "I love you" and kiss you per day. I can't tell you how many times I hear it a day because I can't tell you how many times I hear it per HOUR.

DH had been home 25 minutes and she went up to him and kissed him and said she loves him five times. There's no way he needs reminders of this fact every five minutes.

It's like if she's bored or if she just wants to say something, but has nothing else to say, she says she loves us and kisses us. I don't know if she's doing it because she wants to hear, "I love you, too" for reassurance or what... I feel guilty not saying it back, but you can only hear it so many times a day before you start thinking, "Really?"

Also, if Kate kisses one of us, she has to run over and pucker up for her own. Like she thinks that kissing Kate means we love her more than we love Natalie or something. I dunno...

Is there a way we can tone it down without making her feel rejected, embarrassed or unloved? I don't want her to think that she can't say it, but I want her to know the words have meaning and that using them every five minutes can cause them to lose their meaning (and get kind of annoying).
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 06:07 PM
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Julia Julia is offline
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My son tells me 5-6 times on a school day and a dozen on weekend days when we are with each other longer. That's a lot for a going on 9 year old.

But I think my son also uses it as a "thank you" kind of act with John and I.

My daughter very rarely initiates exchanges like that.

I'm not sure what normal is.

Last year he started not holding my hand in front of the school or kissing me in front of his friends at school.

I figure he will naturally make his own boundaries and mature out of it?
Wife to John in '92
Privileged observer and life coach to one unique 15 yo young lady & One unique 13 yo boy
"Roots to Grow, Wings to fly"
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 06:14 PM
mothragirl mothragirl is offline
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What if you start using some other terms/displays of affection toward her?
melody, mama of alice 7/05, and mabel 11/07. http://cuteoverload.com/
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 06:15 PM
ISAinDFW ISAinDFW is offline
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This sort of thing is so limited to young ages... I would cherish it while it lasts, pretty soon it will end.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 07:25 PM
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Jonna Jonna is offline
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I wonder if her love language is physical touch/words of affirmation?

While Wesley doesn't smother me with kisses every hour we are together, he is constantly touching me in some way. He needs that physical interaction with me/dh. Although it gets annoying and I definitely get touched out, I try to remind myself he won't always be like this.

Wife to Matt (8.01)
Mommy to Wesley (7.31.05), Austin, and Micah (4.23.08) and sweet Tyler James (11.23.10)

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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 07:28 PM
artzy_fartzy68 artzy_fartzy68 is offline
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hmmm, William and Aldous are both super affectionate but they just do it a couple times per day.

Maybe she's just copying you and your husband b/c y'all are always making out.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 08:05 PM
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~Amy ~Amy is offline
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Haley is very much like this. She's always kissing us, hugging us, telling us she loves us. It's sweet, but I get what you mean. She does it a couple times an hour I guess. But she does it at the most annoying times (we're on the phone with someone, I'm dealing with a screaming 3 year old, etc.). I don't know if she does that to get attention or to try to make me feel better, ya know.

Eli, on the other hand, almost NEVER says I love you and hides his face when you say it to him. He will snuggle with you and hug you, but he tells me how annoying it is when I tell him I love him. I don't know what that's about, but I'm not to worried.

Blake, he wants to make out with me all.the.time. He's not as affectionate with James, but he still gives him little tender kisses and hugs when they are together and I'm not around. With me though, he's always, "I yub you, Mom." all day. It can get annoying too, but it's sweet.

I guess one day it'll end and we'll hear how horrible we are, so we should be thankful! James does say to Haley sometimes, "I know, baby, I love you too, but seriously, you told me 5 minutes ago!"
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 08:14 PM
Flute Momma Flute Momma is offline
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We say it LOTS, and there are also tons of kisses every day. I honestly don't even bother counting because I lose count. I come from several generations of very affectionate people, so it is SO far from annoying right now. It may get there later.
Jocelyn - wife to Todd since 6/02 Mother to Lincoln since 10/08 Professional musician and music teacher

...and now WELCOMING baby Josiah (6/10) - my VBAC treasure!!!
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 08:17 PM
zhonn zhonn is offline
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I'd say, "Thank you sweetie! I didn't forget. Did you forget that I love you?"

Other variations: If I have time to play, I say, "Oh, really? How much?" Then we get really creative coming up with outlandish comparisons.

My ds is 10 and he asks for hugs a lot. This last weekend he asked for one, then a couple minutes later he asked again. Then he said, "I'm sorry, I'm just hugry."

If I'm busy, though, I may direct them to an activity, in case it's boredom that's got them coming back for more at an inconvenient time.

Last edited by zhonn; 09-16-2010 Thursday at 08:23 PM.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 08:50 PM
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Purple Purple is offline
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Originally Posted by Nugetspice View Post
I wonder if her love language is physical touch/words of affirmation?
I think this is quite likely because aside from the "I love you"s and the kisses, she gets darn near teary when she's praised for something. And we're not terribly stingy with the praise... We don't give it out like beer at a frat party, but we don't hold on to it, either.

Thanks...I'll try to remember that these days are going to phase themselves out soon and that someday she'll be a teenager who is thoroughly embarrassed by us.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 08:57 PM
Hani Hani is offline
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Our situation is the opposite! I am the one saying, "I love you," and chasing Lucy around for kisses! I do it to my husband, too, although with both of them it isn't as frequent as you described. I have always just been more affectionate than most people, I guess.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 09:02 PM
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Chera25 Chera25 is offline
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Cassidy says it a thousand times a day, but it's usually NOTTT coming from a place of affection. LOL She says it when she forgets her train of thought or if she said something & I didn't hear or understand & ask "what?" she's say "I love you" instead. lol

Oh & she's REALLY, REALLY "huggy"... on HER terms. She hugs absolutely anyone-anytime-all the time (even if they don't want it) IF they doN'T initiate it. LOL

Last edited by Chera25; 09-16-2010 Thursday at 09:05 PM.
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 09:06 PM
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Helen B Helen B is offline
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Kasen is like that too, but I always think it's my "fault" 'cause when he was a baby I was ALWAYS saying I love you or hugging/kissing on him. I still do it a fair amount, but not nearly as much as he does it now.
He's really into hearing other people say they love him too right now, he will literally chase you down asking if you love him.
I don't mind it too much 'cause I know the days of him being "in love" with us are numbered.
Wife to Luke (2002) & mom to Kasen (2007) & Graham (2012).
DFW native living in Houston since 2012 (guess what? it's really not that horrible here!).
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 09:16 PM
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3apples 3apples is offline
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my favorite are times like the other night when i was telling benji that he needed to head up stairs and get to bed (my husband and mina were already upstairs).

he was laying with me in my bed and wanted to sleep with me. everytime i would start to say, "benj, time to..." he'd cut me off and smile and say "i love you!" i'd try again, "you really need to..." he'd say "i love you!" over and over.

needless to say, he ended up sleeping right beside me that night!
Grace...Mommy to Mina, Benji and Max!
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Old 09-16-2010 Thursday, 09:23 PM
Susannah Susannah is offline
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Phoenix was this way, and I don't like spontaneous touch. I just asked her to ask me if she could hug me or kiss me first before she did it. So, she started noticing more when she'd do it and occasionally if I was just touched out, I'd say no, later. Now we're both happy, she kisses or hugs me maybe 6 or 7 times a day (which is much less than before). I also try to remember to hold her hand a lot when walking or touch her when I'm talking to her. It has been so hard to get used to for me... but I'm glad I found a way to enjoy it before she grows out of it.
Mother to DD Phoenix, 6 and DS Griffin, 4
Wife to Chris

Last edited by Susannah; 09-17-2010 Friday at 12:15 AM.
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