College talk had me wondering

When did you move out of your parents home?

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents?

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help?

When did your parents stop helping you financially?

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient?

Just curious since we are talking about college tuition.......in addition to that, you have to consider living expenses. Just curious how other parents feel about that subject.

When did you move out of your parents home?
My parents moved 2 weeks before my 18th birthday (I was still in high school), and I stayed behind to finish the last few months of school. I haven't lived with them since. I used my social security from my father's death to buy a car (before, it went to my parents, but when they left, it went to me, so it was mine to spend for about 3 months before I stopped receiving it after graduation).

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents?
I lived with a friend and her parents until graduation, then spent the summer with a boyfriend's parents (he later became my first husband), then my own apartment when I went off to college. That lasted less than a semester- I was just sort of dumped out into the world, and I was not prepared to handle it. I couldn't handle working full time and going to school full time at that age. So, I left school and moved in with my boyfriend's parents back home. I worked full time and started taking classes part time. Then, we married and got our own place, with me still working and going to school. Then, with my brother while I was separated, back to his parents to try to work it out, stayed at his parents after the divorce (strange, I know, but thank God they were there to give me a place to live so I could go to school), then married again to my wonderful husband. Finally at that point, I was able to just be a student so I could finally finish. Todd covered our living expenses so I could go to school full-time.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help?
No. My parents have given me $50 total to help, and that was when I called them that first semester because I literally had zero food in my apartment, and it was still a few days from payday. My mom wired me some money to get me through. That's the only contribution (financially) that they've made since before I turned 18.

When did your parents stop helping you financially?
Two weeks before my 18th birthday, while still a senior in high school.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient?
I haven't even thought about this question. Without a doubt, I will not dump my kids out into the world like I was. But, I think most parents probably wouldn't. I would like to see them go to college (full time) right after high school, and I'd love for them to live at home during that time. If not, we'll figure out a way to make sure they can go. I don't expect them to be completely financially indepent on their 18th birthday, but we will certainly be working toward that goal. I don't really have a plan yet. Should I?

I'm much more confident now about financial aid, and I am so glad I'll be able to help guide my kids in that area. I was totally clueless.

i moved very suddenly to alabama to start college, and i don't feel i was prepared to be on my own that far from home at that age. i knew how to get the scholarship money and figured out quickly how to pay bills, but i had never balanced a check book, i had no experience with atm cards (new then), and i certainly had no idea what to do with the pre-approved credit card offers that appeared in my mailbox every day. i hadn't been taught to cook, i hadn't been taught how to clean up a house - just knowing where to start would have been a big help. looking back, it was very abrupt, and i definitely don't want it to be such a sudden "okay, you're 18, buh bye" change for my kids.

i lived with my parents for about 3 months after i moved back from spain, because i had to use my money to get a car and some furniture and couldn't get my own place until i had paychecks coming in. i paid them rent for the room, and i got out as quickly as possible.

they helped me out a few times in college when i got in a jam and didn't have money for books and once when my phone was shut off. i didnt miss the phone, but it bugged them enough that they paid the bill and had it turned back on. other than that, i've been on my own since leaving highschool. in highschool i had a job so i could buy my own clothes, because my mother and i did not (and still do not) have the same tastes. they paid for my brother's clothes, and he spent the money from his job on fun stuff - but he also looked like a dork in the dumb chess king crap she bought for him lol. i guess it all evens out.

When did you move out of your parents home? I moved out to move into a college dorm my freshman year, but moved back in at the end of that semester. I lived at home until I got married, but I was working. My parents' deal was if I went to a community college, they would pay for a car in lieu of paying for room and board at college.

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents? Aside from the semester away and the semestr in Rome, my first time living away from home was when I got married.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help? Once I got married, zippo on the help.

When did your parents stop helping you financially? As soon as I got married. They paid off my car for a wedding gift and that was the end of that. I did move back in with them for a short while after Alex's dad and I separated. We lived with them for a few months before getting our own place. My mom did help me out by taking care of Alex part-time (he went to a part-time Montessori school)

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient?
We are still working on how to do laundry and keep track of his own events. I, honestly, don't think that keeping track of finances will be difficult for Alex (the others are too young to be able to tell). He doesn't require much and isn't into "stuff" except for gadgets and computers. We will probably continue to use his pre-paid mastercard for more things and make him budget it. He has to do that some with school lunches. I put so much on per month and it has to last, or he doesn't eat.

When did you move out of your parents home? I left for college a few months after I turned 18. We (my mom, brother and grandparents) lived in Missouri, and I went to Arizona State where I knew nary a soul!

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents? I lived in a college dorm on campus. After that year I got an apartment with my dorm roommate for a few months and then shared a house with a bunch of friends.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help? My mom paid my living expenses while I went to school, rent, utilities..that sort of thing.

When did your parents stop helping you financially? My mom passed away the year before I graduated from college. I think the plan was to stop helping financially after i graduated.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient? My husband and I have only talked about this because as a youngster he was "threatened" with things and then there was never any follow through. For example, he was told that if he raised his grades and imporved his attendance that he could get help towards getting a car. He did neither, but yet guess what he got soon after his 17th birthday! SO although we haven't discussed specifics, we've discussed the need for consistency and follow through on agreements...etc

It was the summer after graduation from High School. I moved to Dallas, didn't know a soul. It was very exciting. Couldn't wait to leave OKC.

I lived with three other girls in a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment. It was an adjustment after a lifetime of being an "only"

My mother paid rent (which included utilities through the school), and a food allowance of 200.00/mo. I paid for car insurance (my car was paid off with my job in H.School. It was a 7 year old little thing, lol), my meals "out", my clothing, and my phone bill.

My mother was a single mother, that struggled to get by. It took two weeks of her pay to pay for her OWN home (she was just two years into her first mortgage ever). She got loans of her own to help me with my tuition (she was attending more college courses herself). She stopped paying the entire rent after graduation (she paid half my rent for 6 months after graduation and then I was on my own completely). I don't know how she did it all.

She started preparing me for the real world at age 15, she was never prepared by her parents, they always paid for the best of everything. My mom felt it was a disservice because she never learned how to be an independent woman until much later in life. My Grandparents paid for 2 of their 4 kids mistakes until they both passed away (which was last year). My uncle lived his entire 45 years ill equiped and asking for money to pay bills. That was my grandparents biggest mistake......enabling their children, never letting them be accountable.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient? I expect my child to be completely self sufficient by the age of 25. If they find they are in a "jam" that they created, they will have to get themselves out of it. If a tragedy happens of course I would do what I could to help. But if it's a situation that has happened from their poor decision........they may have to learn from that mistake. I think too often these days kids feel entitled that their parents will swoop in and fix things, that it's our JOB if we loved them.....where do they think this money comes from? Money does not equate love.

I do feel you can start preparing your children quite young. Teach them the consequences of their choices with an allowance. Teach them to put a percentage into their savings account. Let them blow the rest on what they want, If they blow it on crap that breaks........lesson learned, choose wiser next time. Eventually they do learn to THINK about how to spend their money.

I've started this on a small scale with Lauren......she gets two dollars a week and she has a responsibility chart (things like put things away, make bed, set table). I'm proud to say, she loves to save her money :) and she's even used that money to buy our cat some special Christmas food (so cute she was concerned NINA did not have a present) and her brother a little Hot Wheels car for his birthday. Her idea. She doesn't count yet, but she understands that we don't leave a store with items for free...........baby steps. She loves to hand the money over and put the change in her piggy bank. I plan to start this with Ian when he's mature enough as well (Lauren is a mature five, so I don't know, Ian maybe 6 or 7 before he's ready for that)

I know as a parent it will be hard to watch my kids endure financial hardships as young adults, but I feel enduring our own hardships is what makes us resiliant, proud, self sufficient adults.

When did you move out of your parents home?
I spent one year after high school with my mom in Miami, until she decided to move to IL where her family lived. I then decided to follow my high school sweetheart to Texas and moved here when I was 19. A few months later I found out he was sleeping with a lot of other girls and kicked him out. I however decided to stay even with no friends and family and found a roommate to get an apartment with to help split the bills.

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents?
With my boyfriend in an apartment in Dallas. Then with a roommate.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help?
My mom gave me $300 a month for living expenses (not much at all). I worked part time at a bank and went to Community College part time. If I needed something like my car repaired, my mom would find a way to help me out.

When did your parents stop helping you financially?
After I got my associates degree and was working full time I did not get more help.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient?
I started to learn responsibly at a young age with babysitting and then at 16 I got a job at a movie theater. I stopped getting an allowance at 16, so if there was something I wanted I had to earn the money to get it. When I was in high school my senior year I got in the work program that required you to work in an office. I got a job at a OBGYN office. And then after high school I got a job at a finance company full time so I could pay for a car. I plan to teach my children the same and not to depend on us financially. Of course I will always help them out, but I believe that all the lessons I learned as a kid have helped to get me where I am today and that is financially independent.

When did you move out of your parents home? I moved out a month after I turned 18, but after a year at Belmont, I came home and lived with my Dad so I could go to comm. college for about nine months before I got married. (I realized that five years at a private college would probably bankrupt me later in life!)

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents? I went to Belmont University in Nashville, and I lived in a dorm for a year.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help? I got student loans/scholarships, and my Dad covered about 2k with school tuition that year, any money that I needed for food or my phone bill, I had to work to earn.

When did your parents stop helping you financially?
Other than living at home, we had to find ways to earn money for toiletries, clothes, extra curriculars when I was about 14. I lived at home after I went to belmont, but I had a job to pay for my car, insurance, clothes, community college, etc. The only way I was helped was by living there rent-free.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient? I think our life-style will lead our children to want to earn their own money. We don't live in the lap of luxury (THAT's an understatement!), and we never intend to. They will not ever have their own computer, or a TV in their room, and they may never even have their own rooms. We've decided that we will go halves on a reasonable car for them, and at least our older two will share a car. They will learn to share what we have, or find a way to buy what they want. It was the way that I was raised, and it made me want to work to earn what I wanted and what I thought that I needed.

Just curious since we are talking about college tuition.......in addition to that, you have to consider living expenses. Just curious how other parents feel about that subject. My Dad made sure that college was paid for while I was away from home, and in that tuition I also had a small meal plan. Anything else I had to earn money for. I learned to budget my money very early, and I'm lucky I didn't ever do the credit card thing. Dh and I have talked about setting enough money aside that we can pay for a couple of years of a PUBLIC school, not private. They will have to get scholarships/grants/loans for the rest. We intend to homeschool, and being that we will never be able to send our kids to an ivy league school, we feel like making sure they have the best possible preparatory education, is the best thing that we can do for them to prepare them for college.
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When did you move out of your parents home?
I was 17 when I moved in with my now husband-we had been engaged for a year and I was pregnant, but refusing to get married until after I had the baby.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help?
No. My husband has always fully supported us since we started living together.
But I know they would have been more than willing to. My mom still says to me every now and then that if I ever decide to take some college courses, they will pay for them since they had intended on paying for my education.

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient?
That's a difficult one. I am always willing to help out-I agree that I don't want them to start out in debt and why should they have to scrimp like we did at times? Does it really build character or do we just think it does? I know some well-to-do families that support their kids when they need to or want to and they turned out just fine. So, I'll just say that we'll handle each situation as it comes up. But yes, we will buy them their cars and pay for school, because I want them to concentrate on their educations instead of paying bills. Believe me, they will have their whole lives to figure that out! But they will probably be responsible for gas and insurance and keeping their grades up.

Just curious since we are talking about college tuition.......in addition to that, you have to consider living expenses. Just curious how other parents feel about that subject.
I would definitly allow them to come home or stay home if they wanted or help pay for dorm expenses or apartment utilities, but I wouldn't pay for an apartment because that is a personal choice to not live on campus or at home and they would need to understand that they will be paying the bills if they want to have their own apartment.

When did you move out of your parents home? When I was 15 I divorced my father (my mother had died the previous year).

What was your first living arrangement away from your parents? I rented a room from my sister with the money I got from my mother's SS. Then as soon as I graduated from HS I had to move out on my own so my boyfriend and I moved in together in a one bedroom apt.

Did your parents pay your living expenses or did they help? Technically my mother helped with the SS I got from when she died. But it stopped when I turned 18. So my part time job turned into a full time job.

When did your parents stop helping you financially? See above

How do you plan on preparing your child to become self sufficient and at what age do you expect that your child should be self sufficient? We are going to buy them beaten up cars that need to be fixed when they are 15. They will have to fix them themselves before they turn 16 if they want to drive. I feel this will help them to appreciate the cost of things and to treat their belongings with respect. It will also help them learn about cars.