Julia
12-12-2004 Sunday, 01:49 PM
I had an easy pregnancy. Lots of restrictions because of my pregnancy with Lauren (she was 10.5 lbs and it was a huge surprise, I almost lost my uterus from hemmoraging and I did loose a lot of blood leaving me anemic and tired for quite sometime). I didn't want to repeat that cesarean story. So I was on an exercise program and a diabetic diet (even with negative glucose tests) to control Ian’s weight. I was rather nervous the first 12 weeks as I had had a miscarriage a few months prior. We were elated that Ian was a boy when we found out in the 5th month.
My delivery was via successful VBAC, it was the kind of birth I’d always wanted. I got to watch in the mirror and pull him up to my chest. I was so peaceful with his arrival and his homecoming. He was born almost at 39 weeks and was 8 lbs 2 oz. Everyone kept exclaiming “what a big baby!� I just laughed.
Nothing unusual at the hospital but that his frenulum was cut to improve latch on and the dr. said he may have a speech impediment as tight as it was.
I did notice that Ian was not very social (comparing to Lauren). Didn’t like to interact for extended periods, didn’t smile until month 4 where Lauren smiled at week 4. Didn’t blab alot , didn’t enjoy cosleeping or cuddling, didn’t like sudden movements or rocking. He cried w/ urgency, not colic, just frustrated cry. He slept a lot, through the night, during the day etc… I just chalked all that up to that he was a different child. Maybe boys were slower to develop or less social……maybe Ian was analytical, or just not as boisterous. He seemed to be attaching to me just fine.
He always seemed a bit behind on milestones, cooing, teething (got those at 11 mos, playing w/ toys, walking (walked at 17 mos), speaking or gesturing. He would just get angry and we would try to figure out why. Sometimes he would cry and when we couldn’t figure it out it his anger would escalate to screaming. But the actions were always very controlled. No tears involved.
I enrolled Ian at MDO at 19 mos. My dh travels a lot and I need me time, so he went to the same preK/MDO as Lauren. I thought it would benefit Ian as well. He screamed a lot, would throw tantrums and did not socialize. I just thought it was Terrible twos. Seperation anxiety which is magnified by the fact my dh travels so much. But The terrible twos lasted a long time. The following spring around 27 months it just didn’t seem to be getting better so I began reading about discipline ( I was informed by some they thought he was just spoiled and acting out). It was hard not to question myself with all the tantrums. I started time out in March. I read to increase the time in time-out until the child responds. He was still in his crib so I did time-outs there. He would work up to screaming for an HOUR and he began getting aggressive with me. Biting, scratching, hitting, pinching. We were all unhappy.
In another mom’s group there was an Occupational Therapist that had worked with ECI in the past. I had posted on the board that dh had been gone for weeks and I was at my wits end. I couldn’t work out anymore because the lady at the gym daycare wouldn’t take Ian due to the aggression and screaming, the preK was saying he was getting worse with the time-outs……I was ready to go to bed and scream myself or put myself into time-out forever. I felt more incompetent.
She asked me a lot of questions and then gave me a book called the “out of sync child� for me to read…….a lot of it rang true, some of it I thought "everyone has this disorder to an extent". I was frightened, in denial and relieved at the same time. It’s not me, It’s not that he’s a brat, it’s not my imagination, BUT can it be that he may not be “normal?� That he may have “struggles� with things like socializing and school……the little things. I was a bit depressed to be honest. But I called ECI, I wanted feedback, opinions from professionals, I needed HELP.
The book did help me to SEE when he was screaming…..when people came into his “space. I noticed he would get anxious when kids would come near, adults would speak to him. He would close his eyes, cover his ears in restaurants etc…. He began developing fears, water, gooey things, sand......which he used to enjoy.
I’ll post another entry about my experience with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention.....now referred to as Infant and Toddler Intervention Program or ITIP). I'm posting this long background so that it may help someone in the future if they have concerns.
My delivery was via successful VBAC, it was the kind of birth I’d always wanted. I got to watch in the mirror and pull him up to my chest. I was so peaceful with his arrival and his homecoming. He was born almost at 39 weeks and was 8 lbs 2 oz. Everyone kept exclaiming “what a big baby!� I just laughed.
Nothing unusual at the hospital but that his frenulum was cut to improve latch on and the dr. said he may have a speech impediment as tight as it was.
I did notice that Ian was not very social (comparing to Lauren). Didn’t like to interact for extended periods, didn’t smile until month 4 where Lauren smiled at week 4. Didn’t blab alot , didn’t enjoy cosleeping or cuddling, didn’t like sudden movements or rocking. He cried w/ urgency, not colic, just frustrated cry. He slept a lot, through the night, during the day etc… I just chalked all that up to that he was a different child. Maybe boys were slower to develop or less social……maybe Ian was analytical, or just not as boisterous. He seemed to be attaching to me just fine.
He always seemed a bit behind on milestones, cooing, teething (got those at 11 mos, playing w/ toys, walking (walked at 17 mos), speaking or gesturing. He would just get angry and we would try to figure out why. Sometimes he would cry and when we couldn’t figure it out it his anger would escalate to screaming. But the actions were always very controlled. No tears involved.
I enrolled Ian at MDO at 19 mos. My dh travels a lot and I need me time, so he went to the same preK/MDO as Lauren. I thought it would benefit Ian as well. He screamed a lot, would throw tantrums and did not socialize. I just thought it was Terrible twos. Seperation anxiety which is magnified by the fact my dh travels so much. But The terrible twos lasted a long time. The following spring around 27 months it just didn’t seem to be getting better so I began reading about discipline ( I was informed by some they thought he was just spoiled and acting out). It was hard not to question myself with all the tantrums. I started time out in March. I read to increase the time in time-out until the child responds. He was still in his crib so I did time-outs there. He would work up to screaming for an HOUR and he began getting aggressive with me. Biting, scratching, hitting, pinching. We were all unhappy.
In another mom’s group there was an Occupational Therapist that had worked with ECI in the past. I had posted on the board that dh had been gone for weeks and I was at my wits end. I couldn’t work out anymore because the lady at the gym daycare wouldn’t take Ian due to the aggression and screaming, the preK was saying he was getting worse with the time-outs……I was ready to go to bed and scream myself or put myself into time-out forever. I felt more incompetent.
She asked me a lot of questions and then gave me a book called the “out of sync child� for me to read…….a lot of it rang true, some of it I thought "everyone has this disorder to an extent". I was frightened, in denial and relieved at the same time. It’s not me, It’s not that he’s a brat, it’s not my imagination, BUT can it be that he may not be “normal?� That he may have “struggles� with things like socializing and school……the little things. I was a bit depressed to be honest. But I called ECI, I wanted feedback, opinions from professionals, I needed HELP.
The book did help me to SEE when he was screaming…..when people came into his “space. I noticed he would get anxious when kids would come near, adults would speak to him. He would close his eyes, cover his ears in restaurants etc…. He began developing fears, water, gooey things, sand......which he used to enjoy.
I’ll post another entry about my experience with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention.....now referred to as Infant and Toddler Intervention Program or ITIP). I'm posting this long background so that it may help someone in the future if they have concerns.