Eta?

When/if you talk to your spouse/partner/sig other during the day do you ask (or do they tell you) when they think they might be coming home from work that evening?

Just curious since my DH leaves work at varying times each evening, and I never know when he'll be home for dinner and evening activities with the kiddo. :confused

I ask because I want to know if he's going to come home in time to watch the boys for me while I run the girls to soccer practice and cheer practice and other things. I don't like to drag them with me.:lol

my dh usually either IM's me or calls and lets me know..

I do ask... it's nice to have a plan.

My DH is very consistent on his arrival time, but whenever he's off, he lets me know right away. LOVE it!!

That coming home at varying times really drove me nuts. It was one of the reasons we switched jobs earlier this year. I'm anal and schedule-oriented, and it drove me crazy not knowing what time he would be home. That's just me.

And, yes, when he had that job - I'd call him every day at about 6:00 to get an eta.

My dh is all over the map in terms of ETA. I tell him to call me when he is actually LEAVING the building, because I can't count the number of times he calls me from his office and then gets caught in the hallway. Either way dinner planning is a nightmare!!:rant

So if you figure out a way to whip up a great dinner in 20 minutes or less let me know!!

Thank you guys soooooo much. I'm already feeling better. My DH thinks I'm just trying to check up on him if I ask him and rarely calls to let me know when he might be home if I don't ask. It's a big point of contention for us! Not a good night last night... :(

It was a big point of contention around here, too.

DH usually comes home around the same time, but he calls me if he's going to be early or late. I don't start dinner until he gets home. He tells me if he's stopping somewhere on his way home & I tell him if I need him to be home by a certain time. Fortunately, his hours are flexible.

I usually get a eta from him around lunch with an update around 4. Sometimes I have to call him and ask, but he doesn't care. He knows my afternoon schedule is based on when I need to have dinner ready so he doesn't have to eat food that's been sitting. He is usually home between 5-6 when he goes into the office. If he doesn't get his work done he'll finish up when Caroline goes to bed or he'll come right home and finish while she sits with him and watches a show.

My husband calls me when he is on his way home. He knows that dinner is a consistent time every day and that if he misses it, I will re-heat him something when he gets home. I used to get all anal about it, but then I realized it's not that big of a deal. If I want to make something special for dinner that can't be re-heated, I wait until the weekend.

This was a big issue at our house. Especially because between travel and working out of the office downtown, his schedule is all over the map. I decided to stop stressing about it. We eat around 630PM, if he does not call me to let me know he will be late, I eat without him. I dont mean to sound harsh, but I just got to the point where dinner can't revolve around whether he decides to call me or not. It has somewhat solved the problem here.;)

I typically don't have to worry, dh leaves right around 5 everyday. If he is going to leave later than that he calls (my request). If there are still things that need to be done is has the ablity to get his emails at home and work on things in the evenings here.

Mine usually calls when he's on the way home... but it doesn't vary enough to totally change dinner time each day. If it does - he calls enough in advance.

My DH calls every night before he leaves. I don't want to be worried that he got in an accident when he leaves a half hour late. I usually don't start dinner until he leaves, so I need to know.

I decided to stop stressing about it. We eat around 630PM, if he does not call me to let me know he will be late, I eat without him.

I tried so hard to do this. When I wasn't pg and was really enjoying cooking, it just really bothered me to cook it all and then not have anyone to enjoy it with. I mean, Leo is great, but I just want to eat with an adult once a day if at all possible. I tried to just let it go, but I would still be mad to spend that time cooking and then eat it by myself.

I talk to my husband every day about when he is coming home. His schedule varies too. If he is getting off early and is coming home by way of day care and I am caught up with something at work, I will sometime have him pick the kids up. I typically pick the kids up and am usually home before him. I dont' know why but my kids get their second wind when I pick them up from daycare and are all wond up. If I have had a long day, it is nice to know mentally when relief will be pulling in the driveway.

I tried so hard to do this. When I wasn't pg and was really enjoying cooking, it just really bothered me to cook it all and then not have anyone to enjoy it with. I mean, Leo is great, but I just want to eat with an adult once a day if at all possible. I tried to just let it go, but I would still be mad to spend that time cooking and then eat it by myself.

I totally understand. I guess for me--another sounds like I am a b**** comment--I just get tired of revolving my life around his schedule and travel. I do agree though that is frustrating to have it all planned and made and then eat alone. I just pretend to be sitting their having dinner with a very witty and charming conversationist and not just with E and my 2 dopey dogs:lol !

My Dh comes home at different times each day. He always calls me IM me before he leaves so dinner will be ready or if we are meeting somewhere.

My DH doesn't have set hours when he's actually in town. But he's pretty consistent, unless he gets stuck on a conference call. He deals with a lot of companies in Asia and others overseas, so he's not always able to bail right at 5pm. I usually tend to have dinner ready by 6 or so...if he's going to be really late, he normally calls but if I'm hungry, I'm eatin! :lol

My husband is all over the map. He's rarely home before 6:30, so my stress comes from him not being able to spend much time (or any time) with his son before bedtime (my son goes to bed at 7). :( The dinner thing doesn't bother me much.

The kids and I eat between 5 & 6. If dh is home, that's great but he's usually not home until 7. He does call when he's on his way home and if I don't hear from him by 6:30 I usually call to make sure he's not been in an accident. He works construction so as long as it's light out he works and if he's almost done with a job it only makes sense to finish it up rather than travel again for a short time the next day. It works for us but it is nice to have a family dinner on the weekends.

If it makes you feel any better, I get an ETA from my dh and he works from home! :lol

Dh usually calls me when he is in the car on the way home so I can know when to have dinner ready by. It makes me mad when I have cooked dinner and then he is not home and I am trying to keep it hot and edible. He used to call when leaving his office but like someone else said then he ends up talking to someone and isn't home when I think he will be. I hate it when he does not call.

I always ask so I know when to have dinner ready. Sometimes after work he goes to work out. He always says "I'll be home at [insert time]...why?" and my response is always "Because I'm your wife and I should know." If he doesn't tell me, dinner isn't ready so he has a pretty good reason to tell me. I used to just make food when I thought he would be home only to have it sit and rot for an hour or two while he was out doing whatever he had to do after work. After that I just decided not to cook unless I knew when he was coming home.

This is always a dilemma for me. Having worked as a producer I know how it is though. Someone drops something on your desk at 4 pm and needs it for the client tomorrow - guess who has to make it happen? the producer. So I know he's not being inconsiderate or jerking my chain.....but I get irritated because he's NOT a good judge of how long things will take - he always underestimates. So I've told him - just tell me "I have no idea".

I do ask... it's nice to have a plan.
:yeah

our problem though is that everytime i say "do you know what time you'll be home" he assumes i'm asking "can you come home early?" so i constantly have to remind him to stop listening to what he thinks i'm meaning, and listen to what i'm saying. :lol

Absolutely! And, if either of us is going out to run errands or out for dinner with friends (not a usual ocurrence), then we tell the other how long we'll be and when to expect us home. It's just common courtesy.

Yep, always. If he hasn't called, I will call him. Or many times he e-mails me to say he is leaving. He travels a lot so he has iterniraries e-mailed to me and he always e-mails me or calls me on his way home as well.

Todd's job doesn't usually keep him at the office after hours. If it does, he calls to let me know. Usually, though, he leaves at the same time everyday. That doesn't mean he doesn't get phone calls during dinner (he does, often) or that he won't have to work that night after the girls go to bed (again, he does, fairly often). But, he can typically walk out the door at 5:15 everday, so our routine is pretty set. Things do occasionally come up, but it's infrequent enough that he would definitely call me.

Shaun's job varies, depending on the customers.

He is *supposed* to close at 7pm, but I am amazed at the sheer number of people who think he should stay late instead of them taking off early. :shake

Anyhow, I usually call around 4-5pm to get a feel for his day and if he thinks he should make it home on time, then again around 6:30 to finalize dinner stuff.

I ask mine to call on his way home. He usually does and it becomes a habit that I like a lot. (I can clean the living room before he sees it!)

He usually comes home at 5:00 unless he has a game that he is coaching that evening.