Okay, maybe we DO need to open this discussion again

I may need to eat my words when I said that I doubted Dallas moms would be overrun by out-of-staters in the recent thread about having location requirements. :foot Out of the 11 new members in the past 24 hours, 6 were not from the Dallas area. And, I don't mean even close...California, Canada!, etc. So, maybe it is time to limit it in some way or another.

So, I'd like to have a discussion here about what those requirements should be. No gloating, Cathy. :nono :lol

Here is a draft of what I was thinking, off the top of my head:
~lives in the Dallas area (need help defining what exactly that means)
~current members who move away, obviously
~those planning a move to Dallas
~those with ties to the site through family or friends?

What are your thoughts? I don't mind out-of-state members, but I want the majority to remain Dallas Area Moms.

Ahhh, c'mon! ;)

See, I knew it was a legit concern. Or rather, Monette did.

I like your new criteria by the way.

I define Dallas as an hour in each direction...b/c some moms are willing to travel to playdates and such. Especially if they are out in the boondocks (Lisa:) )

I'm not concerned with out-of-state members joining, but that ratio concerns me. So, I feel like we need to at least discuss implementing a rule.

lmao

I'm not concerned with out-of-state members joining, but that ratio concerns me. So, I feel like we need to at least discuss implementing a rule.

I agree.

I don't mind opening it to out-ot-state moms. Like you said, they wouldn't be able to participate in most of the activities, but they could chat & get advice. There aren't online groups like this available in all areas, & of the ones I've looked at, this is the BEST! Someone may be inspired to start a similar site for their area...

I never chimed in on the other thread but my $0.02 is that we are "Dallas Area Moms" therefore the moms should be in the Dallas area (with the exceptions noted in your potential requirements listed above....moved away, moving here, etc).

I still don't understand why some one from out of state would have any reason or desire to join. I'm not going to join some other cities moms sites no matter if I'm planning to visit and want a good place to eat or not. That's what the chamber of commerce is for.

I'm not concerned with out-of-state members joining, but that ratio concerns me. So, I feel like we need to at least discuss implementing a rule.

ITA - I think we need to have a rule out there too.....

I never chimed in on the other thread but my $0.02 is that we are "Dallas Area Moms" therefore the moms should be in the Dallas area (with the exceptions noted in your potential requirements listed above....moved away, moving here, etc).

I still don't understand why some one from out of state would have any reason or desire to join. I'm not going to join some other cities moms sites no matter if I'm planning to visit and want a good place to eat or not. That's what the chamber of commerce is for.

:yeah

Nicole, how many out there are out of state like myself that regularly post and stay with the board?

See, now being that Janet is actually an active member, it makes it hard!

I think the criteria you mentioned is good! I really think that this board should be what it says for dallas area mom's expempting the things you mentioned.

I wouldn't join a board that was say for say mom's over 30 even though it could have useful info and I will eventually be a mom over 30 one day :). There are some great ACTIVE mom groups out there. I have been on a few that I Liked, however I like this one the most because these are mom's that I can really personally get to know AND meet. That's why I joined this board. :)

After some thought from Cathy's original thread and now the issue at hand today...

In the other post I didn't care who joined but if there are more and more non-Dallas area moms joining then I do think we need to set some limits only because we are first and foremost Dallas area moms and I'd hate to see that dynamic change.

If out-of-staters find this board because they were searching games, weight loss, etc. then I don't think they were searching for a moms board to begin with and therefore shouldn't be approved.

I think Dallas-area should emcompass the north Texas area because alot of those on the outskirts do drive into the metroplex for things. I would accept out-of-staters if they said they were moving to this area and were doing research.

I like the intimate feel of being close, playgroups, MNOs, etc. and would hate to see that change.

That's my long-winded, disorganized .02 cents. :D

I agree about the need to have some kind of boundaries too. For me, my ties to DAM go back to the very first playdate, and so even though I don't know very many people personally, I have such fond memories of the original ladies I met here, and feel like I know some of you, even though I don't. Plus, it gives me a great way to bug Nicole some more! ;)

I like it. You can do at least a preliminary address check on the US Postal website. Search for the zip code.

I would just hate to see this get so *out of control*, ya know? I like your boundaries, Nicole.

I like it. You can do at least a preliminary address check on the US Postal website. Search for the zip code.
IP addresses work better. ;)

I agree with the other posters. I think that you may have to use some discression, but I would specifically ask out of state moms why they want to join and perhaps make some exceptions.

However, if they really want access, they could just *say* they are from Dallas - that would not be too cool.

i like your criteria, but id also like to say that all current members, regardless of location, should be allowed to stay (of course!)... and i agree that anywhere within an 1-2 hour radius of dallas/ft worth (not just dallas) should be okay as well.

However, if they really want access, they could just *say* they are from Dallas - that would not be too cool.
Their IP address would give them away... :)

IP addresses work better. ;)

:yeah

Limit Ideas:

1.) You have to know someone to join, a member.
2.) You have to pay immediately if you're joining from out of town. (That's nice coming from someone who hasn't got a membership yet. I'm working on it.) This wouldn't include those that have to move or that have already been here.

This is mean isn't it?

This isn't mean!! Women inject emotion into everything too much. This is a pragmatic and logistical issue.

I like your guidelines. I will think more on it, but you seem to have a good idea.

This isn't mean!! Women inject emotion into everything too much. This is a pragmatic and logistical issue.

You're right! :thumb

I can understand if DAM comes up on a search engine. But if someone wants a particular group for, say, breastfeeding, there are many many sites with more specific info such as kellymom. There does have to be limits.

I've heard it's hard to track AOL users ip addresses, because they randomly change. Something like that anyway. I like the rules in the OP. I personally am fine with anyone 2 hours or so outside of Dallas.

I'm not going that far out of my way to keep out-of-staters off. If they say they are from the Dallas area, I'm going to trust them on that. Goodness, ladies...please don't set up security clearances for new members. ;) I don't have that kind of time! I'm not researching IP Addresses.

I'm not going that far out of my way to keep out-of-staters off. If they say they are from the Dallas area, I'm going to trust them on that. Goodness, ladies...please don't set up security clearances for new members. ;) I don't have that kind of time! I'm not researching IP Addresses.
I'm not saying you have to check IP addresses. I'm just saying that's a way to determine location if someone was being untruthful. I know you don't have that kind of time! :D

Well, I really shouldnt chime in, since Ive been on DAM for all of 2 minutes, but what the heck, I will anyway & you can just disregard my comments if you want & I wont be offended.

I like the idea of limiting it. Babycenter.com is so crazy cuz there are so many members there. Even just the December 2005 board has tons & tons of people & posts move so fast. I ended up here looking for something smaller.

I dont like the idea of having to know someone - cuz then I wouldnt have been able to get here since I just found it though a post a babycenter.com and who knows when I would have met a DAM member already.

Ok, Ill shut up now til I have more posts! :-)

I'm okay with whatever you decide. It totally does not matter to me. If someone wants to be an active, supportive member, then I don't really care what their zipcode is... but if there does need to be limitations, I like the ones you came up with in your original post. :)

Well, I really shouldnt chime in, since Ive been on DAM for all of 2 minutes, but what the heck, I will anyway & you can just disregard my comments if you want & I wont be offended.

I like the idea of limiting it. Babycenter.com is so crazy cuz there are so many members there. Even just the December 2005 board has tons & tons of people & posts move so fast. I ended up here looking for something smaller.

I dont like the idea of having to know someone - cuz then I wouldnt have been able to get here since I just found it though a post a babycenter.com and who knows when I would have met a DAM member already.

Ok, Ill shut up now til I have more posts! :-)

I think the idea of having to know someone would apply if you live out of town. You live in Rowlett. You're a DAM by default. :D

I think the idea of having to know someone would apply if you live out of town. You live in Rowlett. You're a DAM by default. :D

:thumb

I'm okay with whatever you decide. It totally does not matter to me. If someone wants to be an active, supportive member, then I don't really care what their zipcode is... but if there does need to be limitations, I like the ones you came up with in your original post. :)


:yeah


I'm more bothered by all the guests/non-members who read the site than people who sign up. But, there is nothing you can do about that on a public board.

Here is a draft of what I was thinking, off the top of my head:
~lives in the Dallas area (need help defining what exactly that means)- Agree, and I like the hour each direction idea
~current members who move away, obviously- Agree
~those planning a move to Dallas- Agree, we can be a great resource
~those with ties to the site through family or friends? Disagree, I like the idea of Dallas Area Moms (present, past and future)

I define Dallas as an hour in each direction...b/c some moms are willing to travel to playdates and such. Especially if they are out in the boondocks (Lisa:) )

I am more than an hour North from Dallas, but I live really close to lots of people in the group. (McKinney, Allen, Plano) I would say I am definitely still in the "Dallas Area."

I think Dallas-area should emcompass the north Texas area because alot of those on the outskirts do drive into the metroplex for things. I would accept out-of-staters if they said they were moving to this area and were doing research.

I like the intimate feel of being close, playgroups, MNOs, etc. and would hate to see that change.


:yeahI don't want this to turn into a huge/hard to connect board. I like the intimacy.

I agree with the criteria in the OP.

Although it isn't a "problem" yet, a great influx of memebers from out of the area could greatly influence the personal "feel" off the board. KWIM?

RIJANET was metioned in this thread...Doesn't she fit the criteria? I thought Janet said that her family was looking into a move to the area.

I am more than an hour North from Dallas, but I live really close to lots of people in the group. (McKinney, Allen, Plano) I would say I am definitely still in the "Dallas Area."
You are more than an hour away from Dallas??? That's it you're out!!!!:lol

I am more than an hour North from Dallas, but I live really close to lots of people in the group. (McKinney, Allen, Plano) I would say I am definitely still in the "Dallas Area."

We are technically an hour from Dallas city limits and maybe closer so we aren't in that...

~those with ties to the site through family or friends? Disagree, I like the idea of Dallas Area Moms (present, past and future)

I too disagree with letting moms join due to ties to site thru family and friends.

Strangely enough, some peoples IP addresses may not originate in the state they are in. Ie... I've known people personally that lived in Florida and their IP showed Virginia as the originating state.

Personally, I think if people want to use the internet to keep in touch with family and friends instead of having them join the forums they use, they should think about signing up for myspace, blogspot, or the like.

We are technically an hour from Dallas city limits and maybe closer so we aren't in that...

It takes me like 5-10min longer than it takes YOU!
I also drive like a granny... :lol

You are more than an hour away from Dallas??? That's it you're out!!!!:lol

:cry

It takes me like 5-10min longer than it takes YOU!
I also drive like a granny... :lol

:biglaugh

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and just say, I STILL don't see what the big deal is. Have the out-of-towners outnumbered us yet or are they close to it? If not, then this just seems like a lot more work for Nicole based on something that isn't even a problem yet.

Thanks for thinking of me! :love

Maybe this is kind of like the whole "Spirituality" forum thing... it eventually died down....

When I moved out here I felt SO alone! I had NO friends IRL out here, and DAM was my outlet. If not for DAM, I would have been SO lonely. I think that if someone is lonely enough that they are halfway across the country and want to join, then we could show them some of our "Texan Hospitality". Maybe one day they will have the opportunity to move, and just because of DAM they choose to move to Dallas.

Who knows, ya know? :upthumb

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and just say, I STILL don't see what the big deal is. Have the out-of-towners outnumbered us yet or are they close to it? If not, then this just seems like a lot more work for Nicole based on something that isn't even a problem yet.

I mentioned this subject to dh earlier today...before I saw this thread. He has run numerous websites and commented that the "flavor" of a local board is typically changed when a large number of people from out of the area join. I don't think it is a BIG DEAL now, but I agree that it could become one in the future.

Nicole you mean you don't have EXTRA time??????? COME ON!!!!! LOL!!!

Whatever you decide is gonna be fine! I am out in N ft worth so hope you don't boot me!!

argh!!!!! Again I'll say - DALLAS AREA MOMS=moms that live in the DALLAS area ONLY.

Moms that lived here and were with DAM and moved away can still be with DAM. It gives them a feeling of "home" and we already know them anyway and care to know how they are doing.

Moms that are planing on moving to the Dallas area are welcome.

Out of Dallas area that are family or friends I'm not sure about. If we let that happen and there becomes a lot of members outside of the Dallas area then we'll have to change the name of DAM because it defeats the purpose.

NOW- Nicole- I volunteer to go through and evaluate new apps if you like to get that off your hands. I can either approve them or deny them right then and there- no questions asked- OR have a partner to go over with the questionable ones. Please take this offer and that way you can put your mind on more important things I'm sure you have plenty of. :)

I agree with Angie and Chera. Guidelines for membership :thumb
I'm okay with whatever you decide. It totally does not matter to me. If someone wants to be an active, supportive member, then I don't really care what their zipcode is... but if there does need to be limitations, I like the ones you came up with in your original post.


I'm more bothered by all the guests/non-members who read the site than people who sign up. But, there is nothing you can do about that on a public board.

Like what you said in the first post Nicole and agree with that.

Krysta I didn't mean exactly an hour, I will give or take a minute or two :lol Seriously though and hour and half or two is still considered "Dallas" in my book! But people like Michelle in Alvin...she is Jenna's friend and compliments the board quite well and she is five hours away (something like that), but she has ties to the board. But if someone just randomly signs up from Oregon or other states, that should be regulated.

If they want to be here bad enough they will still lurk. I guess if they're gonna be here, I'd like to know who they are.

I'm okay with whatever you decide. It totally does not matter to me. If someone wants to be an active, supportive member, then I don't really care what their zipcode is... but if there does need to be limitations, I like the ones you came up with in your original post. :)

:yeah

Chera did say it well, though.....

Here's another:yeah

I know you volunteered, Monette, and I really appreciate your offer. But, that's an Admin job I believe, and I'm not sure I'm ready to take on a co-Admin. The last time I tried that, it didn't go so well.

Whenever you're ready......

Hey Monette, I went poking around the control panel, and it looks like I can restrict Admin permissions. So, if you really want this job, I can give you access to only the area you'd need. :) Can you email me so we can discuss it? nicole @ eades . ws

yes ma'am :) :upthumb

We are all in trouble with Monette and some power! never mine we can just blame Cathy, she is the trouble maker!

We are all in trouble with Monette and some power! never mine we can just blame Cathy, she is the trouble maker!

You are not making me more confident in this decision! :lol

:lol :lol :lol Aww...I think it will be good for her and you too..

awwwww, Thanks Jennifer! :D

and http://www.nightclubcity.com/forum/images/smilies/you%20suck.gif to you Jenna. Now where's that delete button for Jenna....

I agree that I don't think it would have the same feel to it, if it were abundant with out of staters. I've been a member of a public board that's very large, and has women from all over. While I enjoy it, I just don't get the same closeness that I get here. Something about knowing we're at least in the same state is comforting, and I feel a closer connection here. It's probably not a problem now, but obviously more and more people are finding their way here. I originally came to this board to meet local moms. Otherwise, I have a countless number of boards I can go to that aren't specific to the area. That's what sort of set this one apart from the rest.

I'm okay with whatever you decide. It totally does not matter to me. If someone wants to be an active, supportive member, then I don't really care what their zipcode is... but if there does need to be limitations, I like the ones you came up with in your original post. :)

:yeah

2 things...

I agree with conditions. I think DAMs should be DAMs past ,preast or future.

next..

Nicole, SuperModeraters have access to the modcp and can add and delete members in there without needing to access the admin cp.

I agree that I don't think it would have the same feel to it, if it were abundant with out of staters. I've been a member of a public board that's very large, and has women from all over. While I enjoy it, I just don't get the same closeness that I get here. Something about knowing we're at least in the same state is comforting, and I feel a closer connection here. It's probably not a problem now, but obviously more and more people are finding their way here. I originally came to this board to meet local moms. Otherwise, I have a countless number of boards I can go to that aren't specific to the area. That's what sort of set this one apart from the rest.
I agree with Laura!!! But you ladies can't get rid of me!! :lol

I agree that I don't think it would have the same feel to it, if it were abundant with out of staters. I've been a member of a public board that's very large, and has women from all over. While I enjoy it, I just don't get the same closeness that I get here. Something about knowing we're at least in the same state is comforting, and I feel a closer connection here. It's probably not a problem now, but obviously more and more people are finding their way here. I originally came to this board to meet local moms. Otherwise, I have a countless number of boards I can go to that aren't specific to the area. That's what sort of set this one apart from the rest.

I agree, too. And I think you have good guidelines, Nicole.

I'm not going to join some other cities moms sites no matter if I'm planning to visit and want a good place to eat or not. That's what the chamber of commerce is for.

I'm dying laughing here, but it's VERY true.

i'm so getting in on this late and i don't want to quote 7000 posts so i'll try to remember:
I also dont' think jsut saying "having family/friend ties to teh board" is enough... IMO If they are in the vicinity (ie, texas) then sure, but family ties and living in wyoming or iowa? Not so much.

I personally DO think something needs to be done (ironic, from the California member, huh?) b/c i, like most people here, HAVE my national boards I go to. This isn't one of those.
However, I personalyl don't think it's necessary to enforce the whole "we're checking your ip address and doing a cavity search" theory. To be honest, if you post "This site is for mom's of the dallas area only" i'd say you'd drop 90% of your out of state registrations. Most of these women are just too busy to go poking around a site they feel they can't join. they're going to look elsewhere.

"This site is for mom's of the dallas area only" i'd say you'd drop 90% of your out of state registrations. Most of these women are just too busy to go poking around a site they feel they can't join. they're going to look elsewhere.

I agree. I think that would help a lot.

Can't we all just get along? :lol

Seriously, I also like the feel of 'Dallas Area Moms' because it's a smaller group. When you talk about an area of the city I can relate. When play dates are setup I feel I have a chance to go (even though most times I don't :bag). I like knowing all of you are close, well.. The texas version of close anyway.

Good guidelines Nicole.

All hail the Monette! or she might delete you... *shakes in boots* :bounce

No, don't "Hail" me. A couple of people have expressed "concern" with me being in "power" because of me being friends with Cathy and that we "stir things up" on the board so Nicole has decided to give it a while and think about it. Frankly I don't see what kind of 'power' I'll have except to just help with accepting or ignoring membership applications, that's all. Just trying to help Nicole out a little. Really has nothing to do with who I'm friends with. :shake

I never chimed in on the other thread but my $0.02 is that we are "Dallas Area Moms" therefore the moms should be in the Dallas area (with the exceptions noted in your potential requirements listed above....moved away, moving here, etc).

I still don't understand why some one from out of state would have any reason or desire to join. I'm not going to join some other cities moms sites no matter if I'm planning to visit and want a good place to eat or not. That's what the chamber of commerce is for.

:yeah I would do like Dallas and it's surrounding counties

:( Am I truely that bad?

You're not bad, Honeypie.. We love ya... *hug*

:( Am I truely that bad?Not bad gir! You are just passionate! There's a differance. :upthumb

You aren't bad, Cathy. But let's be honest here, you enjoy it when you stir things up. Let's call it like it is.

I really didn't want this issue brought to the board. I just need to take a couple of days to think ENTIRELY through the situation. I don't question Monette's integrity or fear she'd abuse her Control Panel access. But, I do need to think it through before putting anyone in a power position. Whether it's fair or not, everyone here knows that you and Cathy often 'conspire' behind the scenes. I can't take that lightly. Admins and Moderators will often set the tone of the board, and I don't want to move too quicky to a decision that could cause problems. I made that mistake with Maggie. I don't think she abused her power as moderator on The Podium, but simply calling her a moderator caused a big uproar.

I'm not going to debate this. This is a private matter and a very difficult situation, and I'm not going to be bullied into anything. I'm frustrated, and I don't think this is an appropriate discussion for the board to read.

FYI, to those that did pm me, I did not disclose your identity to Monette. I told her nothing more than what is said here- I received a couple of pm's expressing concern.

:( Am I truely that bad?

Obviously I don't think so hunnybunchesofoats. I think you post what people are thinking (EX: the OP that started all this. I thought it, you wrote it) and I really admire that in you. I find it ironic that the people who objected to it and bashed you for even asking about it are now saying the opposite and going along with Nicole with the guidelines that were basically already brought up in your post. :shake
You are a very good friend of mine, Cathy. And I don't care what anyone else thinks. Best friends are hard to find and I will cherish our friendship, and you, always. :heartbeat

Just wanted to send some hugs your way Nicole!:hug

Thanks, Nicole. I think everyone has expressed their concerns & opinions. We'll support you in whatever you decide is best.

oh, and for the record, we DON'T "conspire behind the scenes" with each other, no more than you or anyone else does.

I'm going to close this before the discussion moves in a direction I would rather avoid. I've gotten great feedback on the original topic, and I'm sure I can come up with a plan for implementing the new rules. Thanks for your thoughts on the subject, everyone.